Squirrel Cheeks-Magee

I know, I know, my little chickadees. It's been far too long since I've ranted about the inner goings-on of my life. For that, I humbly apologize.

So here's my excuse to bitch:

1. I have a 20-page research paper due Monday.

2. I only have 10 pages done.

3. I have to get all 4 of my wisdom teeth pulled on Friday...

4. THUS I must finish my paper by Thursday night.

5. I have another paper, 5-7 pages, due Tuesday.

6. I am poor.

7. The apartment is a mess.

8. I'm in pain from my "condition" and need physical therapy once a week.

9. Physical therapy is really friggin' expensive.

10. And painful.

So there it is. I'm in full-stress mode. At least, for once, I KNOW I am in full-stress mode, and thus am able to laugh at it. Hah hah hah ha ha......

On a much lighter note I'm starting to plan my trip to Europe. People keep giving me ideas and opinions on where I should go and where I shouldn't go and all the cool people go here and that place is WAY overrated, but you know what? It's fucking Europe.

It doesn't matter how hard I try to make the destinations suck, they wont. I'll still be in Europe and not in Hillsboro.

Also, the Oscars are this Sunday. YAY!! Not only do I see just about every movie there is, but I love to bet on the winners, I get to wear a pretty dress and pretend I'm important, AND I get to eat tons of food and not feel bad cause everyone else around me is too. Excellent. Well... That is unless I still have "squirrel cheeks" from my surgery.... Damn you, wisdom teeth! And the appendix, the tonsils, and I'm pretty sure my gallbladder isn't doing anything for me either. Lazy bums.

UPDATE: I am in SOOOOO much pain. It was so bad last night. I took a whole Percocet, which for me is a lot, I don't have that much body mass, and it only curbed the pain for 1 hour. I have to wait 3 more hours to take another one, meanwhile my jaw feels like its being ripped off by a giant beetle. (I don't know where the beetle comes in, I just thought a giant beetle would be surly enough to rip off someone's jaw). I was crying! The thing was, I was so tired of feeling doped up I desperately didn't WANT to take more pills, but I could barely breathe from the pain.

Oh and that squirrel?....... Starting to strike a very eerie resemblance.... :(

I don't have a neato picture for this post. I'm sorry...

Ok, I'm not entirely positive on this (cause I somewhat tipsy) but I think I just got totally suckered into signing up for the "New Blogger". Now, as you may or may not remember, I have been diligently resisting the switch on principle, but I think they actually FORCED me to sign up.... I feel kind of like I've been raped. I had better get checked for STD's....

Anywho. I think you guys should watch this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BFP0q4qzGw4

I was annoyed by it at first, but I let it go to the end out of curiousity, and it was pretty freakin' funny in the end. I also thought I should update all of you, my little chickadees, on the boringness that is my life.

I started physical therapy for a muscular problem I've been having, and let me tell you, I've officially been weirded out. Sarah, Emily, you'll hear about this tomorrow, I'm sure, if not then, then soon. And if you know me (which you do, cause you're reading this) then you know it takes a hell of a lot to weird me out.

On an unrelated note, its after 10 on a Saturday night and the weirdos of Portland are in rare form tonight. The crazy screams and squeals and grunts of the evening, occuring on the street outside my apartment, are especially interesting tonight.

That's pretty much it. Oh that, and, if you've been watching The Office you'll know what I'm talking about when I say this:
Yuck, Pam. That just ain't right... Shame on you. Now go to your room and think about what you've done.

That's What She Said

Hello, kiddos (Yes I realize you are all older than me. Shut up. It makes me feel important).

Gather round and I'll tell you a tale of epic proportions. Did you know that February 15 is national "That's What She Said" Day? Well it is. And that was the tale. A little anticlimactic, eh?

Anywho, I thought I'd impart to you my favorite That's What She Said moment. Sarah and Emily, you might remember this one:

One Sunday morning (around the crack of noon), I was complaining to James about how there hadn't been any good "that's what she said" moments lately, and that I've been looking for one.
Later, when we were at his family's Sunday dealio, we were talking about an upcoming "True Romance" party.
Emily asked me, "You'll be there, right?"
I replied, "Oh, you KNOW I'm gonna come."
It took me about 3 seconds to figure out what just happened and I blurted out "THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!" in the middle of their new conversation.

Oh that's glorious. So, when Feb. 15 rolls around and the romance of Valentine's Day has worn off, I want all of you, my little chickadees, to think with a dirty mind and try to find yourself a That's What She Said moment. Don't be afraid to say it outloud to the person, even if you're embarassed. Hell, I said it to my boss once. Happy trails!

On a related note:
I just watched the Tarantino/Tony Scott movie "True Romance". I hope your sex party goes better for you than the characters in the movie.
So much blood... Mwa ha ha ha.....

Eep!!!

Holy crap. It's finally happened.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows will be released July 21st.
So Sarah, mark your calendar for July 20 and start reading up, cause we've got a seriously nerdy midnight book release to attend. Drunk.

Squeeeeee!!!!!!


Side note: After being bored at work for about 5 hours with NOTHING to do, I decided to reread all the books. I then proceeded to calculate how many pages I would need to read every day to be finished the day before the new book comes out. I'll have to do 20 pages a day. Which surprised me, really. This is how I spend my time at work when nothing is going on. Pity me, please.... You know you're bored when you've lost interest in the internet. Doesn't it have, like, everything on it?