If I must, I must...

It is about time for New Years Resolutions, and I (like everyone else I know) am a seriously flawed individual. So, why not make the effort for self improvement, eh?? Riiiiggght...

1. Lose the 5 pounds of "holiday fat". How original, I know, but it is needed. Been feeling just a smidge too sluggish and gooey lately.

2. Keep the apartment clean. Yeah, I know, fat chance. But a girl can dream right?

3. Plan trip to Europe for next fall or spring of 2008. Woot woot!!

4. Decide what I want to do with my life, and my degree. Like that is really going to happen. But if its written here, maybe it will help the process along...

5. Do not break any more wine glasses. This will be a tough one, since in my home this is a favorite past-time, it seems.

That should do, for now. We will just have to wait and see how much of this actually gets accomplished.




PS. Doesn't Saddam look like the sad Teddy Bear? Odd....

Fergie is a Man

I'm convinced. And nothing you could say will sway my assumption.

That is all.

Enchilada Sauce and Toilet Paper (Not the connection you might think..... Sicko).

The Magic Kitten has invented a fun new game. She likes to grab one end of the toilet paper and drag it all over the apartment.... Then shred it.... And eat it............ And make herself sick.

James discovered this new hobby one morning, and found it difficult to get mad at her, considering she was sitting on the couch, looking innocent and dumbfounded when he found the mess. Cause, you know, it might not have been her, right? I mean, she wasn't even at the scene of the crime, so there isn't a monopoly of evidence to suggest guilt.

Hmm.....

Well, Christmas is a week away and I'm nowhere near done shopping. In fact, half of the gifts I ordered online (avoiding the carnage that is the mall) have yet to arrive at my door. Minor panic ensues.

Oh, and I thought I'd mention something else. Since the dawn of time, I have eaten Mexican food. And occasionally, on such instances, I have been known to order cheese enchiladas. I've come to realize that EVERY time I do so, my throat kind of feels like its closing in on itself. I keep ordering them because I really like to eat them. (I'm like the toddler who tries to touch the burner a couple of dozen times, cause, you know... it could be NOT so hot this time, right???) Well, last night, as my throat closes in more than ever before, I have a revelation. Maybe I have an allergic reaction to enchilada sauce. EUREKA!!

Wow, I'm dense.

Now for some homework for all you guys out there in Bloggerton-
What is Ashley allergic to?

I highly doubt it could be the cheese, as cheese makes up about 89% of my daily food income. And I eat all other types of Mexican food without problem...

As a head-start, I'll post a common recipe for the sauce:


2 tablespoons vegetable oil
2 tablespoons all-purpose flour
2 tablespoons chili powder
1/2 teaspoon ground cumin
1 (8-ounce) can tomato sauce
2 cups water
1 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon garlic powder

Hint: I have no KNOWN food allergies. The only known allergy I have is to sulfa-based medication.

Now.......... GO!!!

What the.... ?!?!?!?

This picture of a man is funny. It doesn't actually pertain to me post in any way, but I like it.

I may be going crazy from sleep deprivation, but I swear I just saw two birds flying around outside my work window (maybe 5 blocks away) TIED TO-FREAKIN'-GETHER. I swear. At least I swear I think I saw it. This both puzzles and disturbs me.

On a seperate note, last night's episode of Dexter rocked my socks off. Literally. I ended up with one sock on the floor, and no recollection of how it happened. That's how good that show is. Plus I have a major celebrity crush on Michael C. Hall (the guy who plays Dexter). And to all of you who think he's creepy, well.... I think you're creepy. He's wonderful, serial killer and all.

Vampire is to Garlic, as Kitten is to __________

Alas, it is me, my young ones. Come to impart my omnicient wisdom upon you.
Or just ramble for a while because it's winter break at my work and NOBODY is coming in. I'm seriously considering bringing in a small model house to build for James' dad's fantastically splendiforous model train world. I really do have that much time.

Anyways back on topic now. There are 2 correct answers: cayenne pepper and orange peels.

I was looking up ways to keep the Magic Kitten from conquering the Towering Pine in the living room, when I stumbled upon a website that suggested red pepper powder (the hotter the better) and orange peel around the base and in the lower branches of the tree. I was skeptical about the pepper (she is a MAGIC kitten, you know, and must therefore be impervious to mere spices), but I really didn't want orange peel rotting in a tree in my tiny apartment. Sounds like a recipe for bugs. And if you were there on moving day, you know about the bugs...

Anywho, I tried the pepper, and let me say I have finally found a defense for the antics of Magic Kitten. She tries, don't get me wrong. But she always comes out sneezing and eyes watering, cursing the tree with her mysterious kitten magic. I fear for the tree, actually.

The funny thing is when I'm in another room and I hear a bit of rustling, and then I see her come around the corner, trying to play it cool and innocent as she looks like a maced protestor. I've got your number kitty.

I can't explain the glee I felt knowing I had defeated a true champion. I feel kind of like a gladiator. Only not the ones that get ripped a new asshole in the arena. That Russell Crowe one. Yeah....