Cause Everyone Should Know...

Just so you know, the joke behind my title is a Simpsons quote (as is 99.3% of my daily dialogue. I know, its annoying to quote tv shows..... Shut up!!!). Its one of my favorite lines ever, and it goes like this:

Mr. Burns and Homer are playing golf. Homer picks up a club to guide his golf ball out of a sand trap.
Mr Burns- "No, no, no. Use an open-faced club! A sand-wedge!!"
Homer- "Mmm...... Open-faced club sandwich....*drool*"

So there you have it. Now, whoever you are, according to the laws I previously instituted, (see right under blog title) I love you. Yes, you. No, no..... not the guy next to you. That's right. You.

By the way, James now quotes The Simpsons more than I do. I've still got a good 15 years on him in Simpsons experience though...

Work Is For Jerks.

I'm at work right now, and I'm not too happy about it.

One of the whiny professors I work for got mad because the exam that he ordered copies for came back 3-hole punched. He huffed and puffed to my boss about it ( but she hates him too). I know, I know, God forbid your test is easier for students to keep in their binders!!! By the way I'm pretty sure that the copy request this guy filled out specified that he DID want it 3-hole punched. Jerk.

So, Halloween is 6 days away and my craving for horror movies is escalating by the hour. I think tonight might be the night for the first installment of "Ashley Watches a Horror Movie Thinking She'll Find it Entertaining but Ends Up Creeped Out All Night". There's usually several episodes of this series, ending on All-Hallows Eve. You'd think I'd learn.......

It's Almost Kitty Time! Woot Woot!!

Okay, so I've wanted a cat of my own for about.... well, forever, now, and I've alllllmoooost reached the point where I can get 'un. What am I waiting for, you ask? Why, a one-bedroom apartment, of course! I'm currently living in a teeny tiny studio that has no room for me, let alone a frisky feline. But as of next Wednesday I will be a one-bedroom apartment woman!!!

Of course I (and my boyfriend James) will wait a little while to get said kitten, and let ourselves adjust, but once I'm adjusted LOOKOUT!!! It's kitten time!

I want a Maine Coon, if possible. They sometimes get to be as big as that poor lady's fluffy beast, but more often than not they're only slightly larger than regular cats and they're AWESOME. They're like the kind of cats that people who hate cats and love dogs should own, cause they act more like dogs than cats and they're ultra laid-back.

If I get a girl I'll name her Minerva McGonagall, and if its a boy I'll call him Phillip Seymour Hoffman (Seymour, for short).

I can't freakin' wait.....

My First Blog *tear*

I'm so proud. Not really, I'm generally morally opposed to things like this (it goes against my religion), but I have nothing to do at work and I just realized my religion doesn't exist. Now nothing separates me from bloghood but my own imagination!!! That makes no sense.

Halloween (also known as the COOLEST holiday ever) is coming up. I'm going to be roadkill. Not just any roadkill, but raccoon roadkill. I considered my other options, but none of them seemed to work: Possum - ew, Armadillo - how would I find a costume for that??, Skunk - I'd have to put up with annoying drunk people all night making jokes about me stinking. I'll have none of that.
So, raccoon it is. Plus, raccoons are kind of cute. In a mangy, disease-spreading, cat-food-stealing, garbage-eating kinda way. My raccoon's cute-factor will be hindered by a few details, however. I will be covered in dirt and gore and there will be tire tracks across my back. Sweeeeet. I'm very pleased with my costume.